Prom Night in Retrospect

Tonights blog post was going to be about a completely different topic until I went to the hair salon. Towards the end of my appointment I noticed a few girls getting their hair done for prom. Instantly, the memories of my senior prom came flooding back. All the memories made me reflect on my own prom night and how high my expectations were for it all.

Just after getting my makeup done.

Just after getting my makeup done.

I moved right before my senior year of high school and never really thought I would get to go to a prom. I didn’t have anyone to go with at my new school so my best friend at the time suggested I come back to my old school and go to prom with one of her friends.  I was a bit shy in high school and my best friend was always trying to get me to hook up with guys who she thought were perfect for me. Perfect being a bit too pushy, overflowing testosterone, and the complete polar opposite of any guy I would ever mesh well with.  The conversation went something like this:

Friend: I have this really cool guy friend that doesn’t have a date and wants to take you! It will be perfect and we’ll be able to spend Senior Prom together!

 Me: Umm, well, why doesn’t he have a date already? You said he was really cool right? So shouldn’t he already have a date?

 Friend: He’s a really nice guy but just doesn’t like the girls at our school. He said he would be totally fine with just going as friends. 

 Me: Okay, but seriously, we’re just going as friends, nothing more. I don’t want to feel pressure to do anything with him.

I ended up going to prom with the guy my friend suggested and I will call Mr. Pan. I went through the whole pre-prom shebang. Dress shopping, hair appointment, make-up session at MAC, and of course a home photo shoot with my Aunt playing the role of photographer. I was actually getting excited! I was going to have the best night ever, right? After parties, great food, dancing… I had a lot of high hopes that had been building since I had first learned that there was this thing called  “Prom”, which was basically the equivalent to Cinderella’s ball.

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 And then Prom Night began…

We hadn’t been at the prom for too long when Mr. Pan decided he wanted to go as more than “friends”. We were headed back upstairs from the bathrooms when Mr. Pan stopped me, pounced, and got a good few seconds of tongue action. I was surprised and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to embarrass him, but I also didn’t want to stay kissing him. So I pushed him back, started up the steps again, and hoped we could just pretend the kiss never happened. Your not going to believe what happened next…He was right behind me on the steps when he says “Mmmm, that was tasty”. Barf! Who says that?

Shortly after this happened, my friend wanted to leave the prom and go to the after-parties. About an hour later we ended up back at a friends house where there was NOT a party. Mr. Pan decided he would drink an entire beer and chase it with half a bottle of rum. Classy! What was even classier is when he vomited all over himself and tried to apologize to me by wiping his hands all over my face and hair. This was about the time when I decided it was time to go home (at 10:00 p.m.) and call it a night.

My prom ideals were obviously shot down pretty quickly. And here are a few other reasons why:

  • Mr. Pan thought it would be more economical if I shared his diner instead of getting a meal of my own. It was awkward when all the other couples ordered separate meals and I wasn’t allowed. I starved the rest of the night.
  • The dance floor was a hot mess! Sweaty bodies huddled on the smallest dance floor i’d ever seen in my life.
  • As we were dancing, Mr. Pan kept slowly pulling my dress up. And I had to keep pulling it right back down.
  • The only food served at the venue was a small selection of sliced fruit and pound cake with a chocolate fountain.
  • My supposed best friend was totally ignoring me. And later became angry when I wouldn’t get freaky with Mr. Pan.
  • After parties do not start at 9:00 p.m. Everyone else is still enjoying prom at this time.
  • I was told I didn’t have a curfew for this one night and was home earlier than nights when I did have a curfew.

At the time, prom night was the most important night of our young lives so far.  It was Prom! Wasn’t it supposed to be this amazing night I’ll always look back on with fondness?  Now, all these years later, it’s easy realize what a small part of life that night really was.

What I can say now is that I do look back on my prom night with fondness. Not because it was a great night that lived up to my cinderella’s ball expectations, but because in retrospect it is just too darn funny. I hope the girls who were at the hair salon today can look back on their prom nights with the same amount of fondness.

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As for Mr. Pan? A few days later he had to come to my house to return something I had forgotten during prom. We never spoke to each other again after that. No real reason for this, just that we went to different schools and never had a reason to stay connected. I hope he is doing well though, and i’m sure he turned out to be a very nice guy… He  wasn’t an evil prom date from hell, but rather a teen boy with high testosterone and not much experience with the ladies.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

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